The Impossible Knife of Memory by Laurie Halse Anderson

Title: The Impossible Knife of Memory

Author: Laurie Halse Anderson

Release Date: 2nd January 2014

My Rating: 5/5

Blurb:

For the past five years Hayley Kincain and her father, Andy, have been on the road, never staying long in one place as he struggles to escape the demons that have tortured him since his return from Iraq.

Now they are back in town where he grew up so Hayley can go to a proper school. Perhaps, for the first time, Hayley can have a normal life, put aside her own painful memories, even have a relationship with Finn, the hot guy who obviously likes her but is hiding secrets of his own.

Will being back home help Andy's PTSD, or will his terrible memories drag him to the edge of hell, and drugs push him over?

In a Nutshell:

From the first page, The Impossible Knife of Memory took hold and wouldn't let go. It's a novel full of emotion, respect, pain and love. Beautifully articulated from Hayley's perspective but with snippets of Andy's memories dispersed throughout, it clenched my heart and left me at pains to think of what so many people are, and will continue, to go through. It's an exploration of a father and daughter attempting to piece themselves back together and the life events that lead them to realise that accepting or asking for help is not a measure of failure.

My Review:

The Impossible Knife of Memory reflects the often forgotten casualties of war; the servicemen and women who return from their tours with injuries invisible to the eye. Not only does Laurie Halse Anderson respectfully, carefully and thoughtfully explore the effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) on a veteran, she also looks at the way in which their loved ones are effected and this is done through the point of view of seventeen-year-old Hayley.

Not to give too much of the story away, here's a little about Hayley's situation: Hayley's dad, Captain Andy Kincain, served multiple tours in Iraq and Afghanistan for much of her childhood, leaving her to be raised by her Grandmother after her mother died when Hayley was only five months old. After her grandmother died, Hayley was brought up by Andy's 'Base Bunny', Trish, the closest thing to a mother Hayley had ever known. Due to suffering multiple injuries, her dad returned, injured in more ways than just physically. The relationship between Trish and her dad fell apart eventuating with Trish walking out on them both. Ever since, Hayley and her dad have moved from town to town with Andy home-schooling her. 

After an 'incident', Andy decides it's time to put down proper roots and returns to his hometown so Hayley can complete her final year of high school, much to Hayley's disdain. Adjusting to a new school is hard enough, but when you've never been to a high school, things are somewhat harder, regardless of the situation at home. She is frustrated by the system and the 'zombies' around her and doesn't give much stock to her guidance counsellor's efforts to get her to think about college. Hayley has never really given her future a thought given her position with her dad and while her friends dream of ways to escape their town, Hayley has never felt she's had the luxury of planning her future.

"My earbuds were in, but I wasn't playing music. I needed to hear the world but didn't want the world to know I was listening"

Hayley has very few memories of her childhood, having blocked most of them in an effort to forget and protect herself from further hurt. You can't miss what you don't remember but even the memories she does have are unreliable. The abandonment she felt after Trish left has turned into anger and coupled with her dad's psychological state, she suffers from anxiety, scared of what condition she may find her father in and her constant concerns for his safety. She is often left playing the parent, cleaning up after him as he numbs his pain and escapes his memories with alcohol and drugs. Her loyalty to her father and her belief that the two of them can make it work keeps her from letting those around her into the complexity of her life. The sudden and unwanted return of Trish adds to the unpredictability of Hayley and Andy's lives.

Hayley's friendship with Gracie and the inklings of a possible romance with Finn keep her floating above water, although she isn't the only one with a somewhat complicated home-life. Her friends are suffering through financial strain, a sibling's addiction problem, a messy divorce, and self-medication. But regardless of their problems, they provide each other with glimmers of hope and happiness.

From the first page, The Impossible Knife of Memory took hold and wouldn't let go. It's a novel full of emotion, respect, pain and love. Beautifully articulated from Hayley's perspective but with snippets of Andy's memories dispersed throughout, it clenched my heart and left me at pains to think of what so many people are, and will continue, to go through. It's an exploration of a father and daughter attempting to piece themselves back together and the life events that lead them to realise that accepting or asking for help is not a measure of failure.

Thankyou to Text Publishing for this review copy.